emo moment

i wanna have someone to cry on right now, but noone seems to be available.

my life is pathetic as usual.i wish u ddnt hang up the phone coz i wanted to atleast tell u something, but i guess u got busy and forgot to call back. last night i was happy, a dear friend came back but i guess happy moments dont last long.......

its time like this that im the weakest, i just had a fight with mom, same stuff over and over im tired. i wana run away but i cant, i wana die but what would that solve? besides i hate to die so young. im crying like a baby,i thought it woulda been over, the sadness, but i guess not. ive been forgotten once again its ok im used to it, i miss someone who made me laugh when im in my downest, that 15 yr old colombian kid im so fond of but i cnt talk to that kid anymore or at least the kid wont talk to me. i texted the kid, no response, very typical since we did say goodbye after all.so im alone again like usual. im staring at the phone waiting for someone to call. oh how i would give the world to hear your voice right now, i need you, u said ud call back..but....nothing yet. i wanted u to pick me up from my downfall so im waiting but  instead im crying alone blogging my pain.

i realize that i depend too much on people, i rely on them too much. i should stop. im hungry but i lost all my appetite i only ate a muffin since like 1am..its already 1pm haha..im still waiting for ur call.....nothing. oh i remember u wrote a blog on a website, i was jealous on how much u cared for your bestfriend. u mentioned me there but u had more emotion and feelings when u were writing about him, kinda hurts really, i was thinking mybe ur not over him? but u said u were so i believe u. funny thing is when i believe i always end up believing the wrong things lol so yea i hope its different now. again the colombian kid popped in my mind ,that sweet kind smile that the kid used to give me, i miss it. and then gee gee baby's face popped in my mind i miss it too i wana see it.ur voice keeps ringing in my ears telling me sweet words i love to hear.i love it. but yea back to the emoness. back to me crying alone back to me being alone. i guess ill just sleep maybe ill forget abt all of this.blahblah.life is back to being sucky.

update:
blah its been like 45 something min. since u said ud call back, i guess uve completely forgotten abt me. u heard all the fights i thought u woulda known im really down and i need you.r u talking to him? u seem to forget abt me everytime ur talking to ur bestfriend waaa ouch ouch! the tears keep falling down for some reason. i wana stop it i cant.lol im so dramatic wth! i hate being emo but w.e this what blogs are for





ive been blogging alot lately wow i just noticed. nice stress reliever really!